Tuesday, March 4, 2014

What to do when you're DONE!!! 

We've all been there...reached a certain level of frustration and annoyance with a person or situation that at some point, we realized that we didn't have anything else to give! We are over it, over them, and fed up! We are tired of trying, tired of caring, and tired of trying to make it work. Yep...we're done!

But being done, however appropriate that feeling may seem, is not exactly the type of feeling that you want to let linger in your spirit. Whenever possible, I find it best to address your doneness so that you and those around you move forward in a space of love and productivity.

I certainly don't have all the answers, but below are a few ways I manage to keep my doneness levels in check...{but I still feel DONE many times too!}

Make sure you're not already overcooked!
Are you tired? Hungry? Hormonal? Have you been letting your needs take a backseat in order to accommodate and care for everyone else? For me, when I feel "done" often times it's because of one of the aforementioned reasons. Maybe I haven't worn decent clothes in two days, or I've been staying up late and getting up early. Having deficits in these areas definitely make me less patient and quicker to throw up my hands in defeat while being rested and feeling put together give me perspective to stay calm(er).

Examine your expectations
So, take a moment to consciously examine your expectations in any areas causing you frustration. It’s easy for our expectations to get out of whack without us even realizing it. Are you “done” and “over” your boss for not recognizing your hard work on your latest project? Does he/ she always seem to overlook your efforts and minimize your contributions to the team? All of these are validate reasons to be “done”, but are your expectations correct? Is it logical to expect your boss, the one who has NEVER congratulated or applauded you on anything to suddenly give you verbal praise for your most recent work? Examine your expectations.

Are you annoyed that your newly turned 2 year old won't tell you he has to use the potty? And he's a picky eater and recently started saying "no" for everything? Are you ready to quit and throw in the towel with all of it!?! Believe me, I know 2 year olds are a force to be reckoned with, but after examining your expectations, you may see it's kind of silly to be "over it" and "done" because your 2 year old is acting like a....well, 2 year old. Examine your expectations.
Lighten up!
I’ve been called uptight before and honestly, after reevaluating and not taking offense, I think I am…I know I am uptight at times. Being uptight, a rule follower, a by the book and structured person, are usually, in my opinion good traits to have. However, you {and by you, I mean myself as well} have to learn to lighten up and not take yourself so seriously! So what you didn’t dust or wash the dishes and everyone seems to be making a mess around you! It will be ok! And by taking a light-hearted jovial approach, you might just encourage people to help out with a positive attitude instead of just having an attitude.

Do the opposite of what you feel like doing.
So for most of us, reaching the point of being "done" and "over" something leaves us in a bad mood and overall, in an unpleasant state of mind. Do you agree? You'll likely feel like crying, yelling, giving the silent treatment or a mix of all three. I'd like to suggest not doing those things. In fact, really stretch yourself and do the opposite of what you feel like doing. If you feel like quitting, make a plan and come back with a different approach. If you feel like complaining, write and/or verbalize at least 5 things that you're thankful for. If you feel like hitting someone, offer a hug and warm smile. Trust me, I know how hard it can be to do these things when you're sooooooooo not feeling it. But I also know how much better you can feel when you're not annoyed and pissed about something or at someone. Try it!

What are your tips for bouncing back when you feel "done" or "over" something? Different people use and need different strategies, so if you have one or two, please share!

Thanks for reading!

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  1. I don't have much to say because you are soooo on point with this post! I can definitely relate to pretty much the entire post, so thanks for sharing such helpful strategies.

  2. This is great and soooo timely! Did you write this for me? Lol excellent suggestions. The "expectations" part was dead on! Thank you, thank you!

    1. Awwwwww, thank you! Thanks for reading and commenting! :)