I'm Mom, Me

 If you're new to The Makings of Me series, read the intro below.

I like beginnings. The beginning of the day, the beginning of the week, the month, the year… There’s something about the beginning that seems so fresh and opportunistic. It’s like you get a clean slate to start whatever you want to start. A diet, an exercise program, a new perspective, a new you.

I mentioned in a previous post that September is my birthday month and so, it dawned on me that this is the beginning of a new year of life for me. I never viewed my birthday that way before. (I’m telling you…it’s something about the 30s!)I usually only considered January 1, the start of the new year, but really, each birthday signifies a new year of life for that individual. Isn’t that nice!? A beginning!

For the next 12 months, I’ll be taking strides and making efforts to improve this year of life for me. I’ll be doing the things I’ve thought about doing but never followed through on. I’ll be doing the things I know I should do, but don’t. I’ll be intentionally working towards doing and being better in areas of my life that I feel need improvement.

Your birthday may be far off, but really, there’s no time like the present to live the life you want to live. Don’t keep waiting if you’ve felt a tug to do and be a better you! Won’t you join me? Share any things you’re working on and your goals towards self improvement in the comments below. This is exciting! This is the beginning of a new you, and a new me!

Month 3: Mission 3:  Apology Rejected!

 There have been many, many instances in my life when I’ve felt “sorry”, “guilty” or “bad” about something. Whether it was something said, something done, or something not said, or something not done, I have certainly felt the sting and sadness of letting someone else down. I’ve carried the unkind words, rude looks, and hurtful gestures in my memory bank and reflected on them long after the experience had passed. Even worse, I’ve created and anticipated situations in my head to perpetuate the flood of negativity. Am I alone on this? I actually hope so, because it’s not a good feeling and it leads to nowhere!

What I’m coming to understand is that most of these negative feelings and thoughts about doing this or not doing that are self created. That I can choose to think differently and thus feel differently. That someone else’s expectation of me is just that…someone else’s and I don’t have to harbor guilt or unhappiness because of it. I don’t have to be sorry or apologetic for being me.

But there have been countless times, when that’s exactly what happened. I felt disappointed in myself when my desires didn’t mesh with someone else’s… particularly when that someone is in my family or friend circle. I felt like a loser letting everyone down.

This way of thinking and feeling has been very draining, and since I’m working on ME these days, I’ve decided that I want to make a change. Yes, it’s important to compromise. Yes, it’s important to see things from other people’s perspective, but it’s equally important to be authentic and stand in my own truth…even if it goes against the expectations and thoughts of others. The point here is not to adopt a “my way or the highway” attitude or have an undertone of arrogance, rather the point is to eradicate the feelings of being “sorry” for being myself. So the next time my bad habit of harboring negative feelings rears its exhausting head, I’ll kindly remind myself that it’s totally fine to be who I am and I’ll keep my sorry. Any apology issued for being me is not accepted…it’s rejected!

How do you deal with going against the grain when dealing with people you know and/ or love?

Month 1 Update:  I’m proud to say that I have been working out at least three times a week.

Month 2 Update:  I continue to track my food and I haven’t been overeating nearly as much as I used to. I still need to be more consistent with eating fruits and veggies daily.