Tuesday, December 17, 2013

 If you're new to The Makings of Me series, read the intro below.

I like beginnings. The beginning of the day, the beginning of the week, the month, the year… There’s something about the beginning that seems so fresh and opportunistic. It’s like you get a clean slate to start whatever you want to start. A diet, an exercise program, a new perspective, a new you.

I mentioned in a previous post that September is my birthday month and so, it dawned on me that this is the beginning of a new year of life for me. I never viewed my birthday that way before. (I’m telling you…it’s something about the 30s!)I usually only considered January 1, the start of the new year, but really, each birthday signifies a new year of life for that individual. Isn’t that nice!? A beginning!

For the next 12 months, I’ll be taking strides and making efforts to improve this year of life for me. I’ll be doing the things I’ve thought about doing but never followed through on. I’ll be doing the things I know I should do, but don’t. I’ll be intentionally working towards doing and being better in areas of my life that I feel need improvement.

Your birthday may be far off, but really, there’s no time like the present to live the life you want to live. Don’t keep waiting if you’ve felt a tug to do and be a better you! Won’t you join me? Share any things you’re working on and your goals towards self improvement in the comments below. This is exciting! This is the beginning of a new you, and a new me!

Month 3: Mission 3:  Apology Rejected!

 There have been many, many instances in my life when I’ve felt “sorry”, “guilty” or “bad” about something. Whether it was something said, something done, or something not said, or something not done, I have certainly felt the sting and sadness of letting someone else down. I’ve carried the unkind words, rude looks, and hurtful gestures in my memory bank and reflected on them long after the experience had passed. Even worse, I’ve created and anticipated situations in my head to perpetuate the flood of negativity. Am I alone on this? I actually hope so, because it’s not a good feeling and it leads to nowhere!

What I’m coming to understand is that most of these negative feelings and thoughts about doing this or not doing that are self created. That I can choose to think differently and thus feel differently. That someone else’s expectation of me is just that…someone else’s and I don’t have to harbor guilt or unhappiness because of it. I don’t have to be sorry or apologetic for being me.

But there have been countless times, when that’s exactly what happened. I felt disappointed in myself when my desires didn’t mesh with someone else’s… particularly when that someone is in my family or friend circle. I felt like a loser letting everyone down.

This way of thinking and feeling has been very draining, and since I’m working on ME these days, I’ve decided that I want to make a change. Yes, it’s important to compromise. Yes, it’s important to see things from other people’s perspective, but it’s equally important to be authentic and stand in my own truth…even if it goes against the expectations and thoughts of others. The point here is not to adopt a “my way or the highway” attitude or have an undertone of arrogance, rather the point is to eradicate the feelings of being “sorry” for being myself. So the next time my bad habit of harboring negative feelings rears its exhausting head, I’ll kindly remind myself that it’s totally fine to be who I am and I’ll keep my sorry. Any apology issued for being me is not accepted…it’s rejected!

How do you deal with going against the grain when dealing with people you know and/ or love?

Month 1 Update:  I’m proud to say that I have been working out at least three times a week.
Month 2 Update:  I continue to track my food and I haven’t been overeating nearly as much as I used to. I still need to be more consistent with eating fruits and veggies daily.


  1. Chikilah I think this post is very inspiring. It doesn't matter your age, everyone has either a little something or a lot of somethings that they want to improve about themselves. I too love "beginnings". I am a morning person so I'm up by 5 regularly to get my day started. Beginnings of the week ,month & year make me feel like I can regroup & get a fresh start on whatever aspect of my life that I am focusing on. I love that you view your birthday as the beginning of a new year. I had never really looked at my birthday that way, even though it always feels like the beginning of something!

    There have been so many changes in my life over the past year & a half that one thing that I have learrned to do is adjust. What I have been working on (seriously) throughout this month is not just adjusting but making the very BEST out of whatever comes my way. I know that my improvements will not happen overnight but just to know that I am really focused on "the makings of me" gives me a sense of fulfillment.

    I am currently reading a book called "Life Lessons for Busy Moms". I am working from home, in school & trying to balance life with a husband & 3 kids! It's not easy!! This book gives you 7 essential ingredients to organizing & balancing your world, your kids, your time AND most importantly to make room/time for yourself.

    I am still focusing on the 1st ingredient which is to make time to nurture myself. What I do know is that if I am not together, NOTHING is! It seems that everything & everyone around me falls apart when I am not my "whole" self. So I have been focusing on my positive qualities (there are sooo many...lol!). I have also been celebrating my achievements & trying to fulfill my dreams. I am back in school after 12 loooong years of putting it off. I am also working really hard to build my online business (this will fulfill my dream of being rich! :) To nurture myself, I do simple things such as taking a bath and/or reading a book. I love reading romance novels. My cousin calls them "nasty" books but that's ok I enjoy reading those "nasty" books! I will keep you updated on my progress.

    I am so proud of you and what you are doing with this blog & what you are doing with yourself. We talk all the time and I know how creative and intelligent you are. I'm Mom Me is fantabulous!!! You impress me with each new blog. Stick with it, you have something really great here!

    1. Oh MeritaK!!! You know I could cry, right? Thank you a million times over for your kind words! Thank you for reading my blog, thank you for commenting, and thank you for believing in me! I'm not sure what made me think of my birthday as a beginning...I hadn't done that before but then it just dawned on me that it was indeed a beginning. I'd love to know some specifics of things you've been doing so get ready to tell all! I'll also be checking out that book you mentioned!

      I sooooooo appreciate you taking the time to leave this comment! I will read it many times over as I continue to work on being the best me possible! Love you! :)